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Funny Quotes About Women
- "As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own
daughter, she is perfectly satisfied." -Oscar Wilde.
- "One of the reasons I don't see eye to eye with Women's Lib
is that women have it all on a plate if only they knew it. They
don't have to be pretty either."-Charlotte Rampling.
- "When women kiss it always reminds me of prize fighters
shaking hands." -HL Mencken.
- "When a woman becomes a scholar there is usually something
wrong with her sexual organs." -Friedrich Nietzsche
- "Nature intended women to be our slaves. They are our
property." -Napolean Bonaparte
- "If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would
have no meaning."-Aristotle Onassis
- "Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always
say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?"
-Rita Rudner
- "Most women are not as young as they are painted." -Max
Beerbohm
- "When women go wrong, men go right after them." -Mae
West.
- "Women are nothing but machines for producing children."
-Napolean Bonaparte.
- "An archaeologist is best husband a woman can have: the
older she gets, the more interested he is in her." -Agatha
Christie
- "Women are like elephants. Everyone likes to look at them
but no-one likes to have to keep one." -WC Fields
- "Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be
thought half as good? Luckily, this is not difficult." -Charlotte
Whitton.
- "Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only
time of the month when I can be myself." -Roseanne Barr.
- "A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's - That's because she
changes it more often." -Oliver Hereford
- "My wife is the sort of woman who gives necrophillia a bad
name."-Patrick Murray
- "What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty
scarce."-Mark Twain.
- "As Miss America, my goal is to bring peace to the entire
world and then get my own apartment." -Jay Leno
- "Men are superior to women. For one thing, men can urinate
from a speeding car." -Will Durst
- Last week I stated that this woman was the ugliest woman I had
ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister and now wish to
withdraw that statement." -Mark Twain.
- "Despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul,
I have not yet been able to answer the great question that has never
been answered: What does a woman want?" -Sigmund Freud
- "When a woman behaves like a man, why doesn't she behave
like a nice man?" -Edith Evans
- "Women should have labels on their foreheads saying,
'Government Health Warning: women can seriously damage your brains,
genitals, current account, confidence, razor blades, and good
standing among your friends'." -Jeffrey Bernard
- "No man knows more about women than I do, and I know
nothing." -Seymour Hicks
- "When I have one foot in the grave, I will tell the whole
truth about women. I shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the
lid over me and say, 'Do what you like now'." -Leo Tolstoy
- "Women are an alien race set down among us." -John
Updike
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