Dealing with the complexities involved in mothering, Kathryn Black's book, "Mothering without a Map" is every mother's favorite. Portraying author herself as the protagonist, this book talks about her experience of losing her mother because of prolonged illness. It talks about aspirations of an unmothered woman to become a good mother. Honored with doctorate degree in prenatal and perinatal psychology, her dissertation dealt with the meanings mothers asserted on their difficult childbirths. The book dealt with the search of good mother within and also a study on how unmothered childhood affects a woman's motherhood. Dealing with the anxiousness and difficulties, a mother faces when she doesn't have an example or 'map' set by their mother, most mothers could empathize with the subject matter of this book and this may be the reason why it is popular among mothers. Get this wonderful Mother's Day gift for your mom and make her feel happy.
Complexities Of Mothering
Black's mother fell sick when she was just four and after two years of suffering, closed her eyes forever, leaving a small girl to grow without any moral support that only a mother could provide. Starting from the premise that "nothing exerts an influence on how a woman raises a child as powerfully as does her own mother," she did a great research by interviewing 50 women between 20 and 70 years of age to learn about effects of losing mother at their early age. She also tried to learn about the impact of torn mother-daughter relationship and how it affected a girl who is left with no role model to look up to. Taking new insights about good and effective motherhood, the author maintains that good mothering should satisfy five basic needs namely physiological, safety, love, esteem and self-actualization.
Kathryn continues her research on to psychiatry and psychoanalysis, social work, biology and other experts, which then reveal that there are other paths to discover a good mother within. Also, Kathryn through her research learned that wounded daughters can become healing mothers and such mothers support their children with security, happiness and love.
Almost every woman is influenced to be an ideal woman by her own mother, who acts as a role model for her. However, sometimes, it happens that girls have to grow without the sheltered protection and benign influence of a mother. This might be either due to the fact that the parents were separated or because the mother was dead. The book is replete with suggestions that a motherless child will definitely be facing a lot of difficulties relating to her own children. The book touches your heart and helps you to discover the complete woman in you. The book shaped up on the basis of the author's personal experiences and a lot of research work and interviews with many mothers as well as daughters.
In her book Kathryn Black appears to be anxious about her capability to support her child to stay straight and confront the competitive world around. She identifies this fear has its root back in her unmothered childhood. Her theme is 'under-mothered' moms and their ability to change the hand dealt them. Being child to parent who were not able to provide them with complete guidance, they feel their confidence lowering at alarming rate when it comes to parenting their child. She says that women like her has "data banks are crowded with 'wrong way' examples" are concerned about whether they are destined to burden their children with the limitations of their motherless childhoods?'
Overall, this book is a wonderful as well as a helpful reading. Mothering without a Map makes you realize that there are no set or defined rules of coping up with the complexities of mothering.
"Mothering without a Map" by Kathryn Black etches out beautifully the complexities of mothering.